Monday, September 16, 2013

The great unknown

My husband and I are starting to seriously contemplate moving to Nashville, TN.

There are a bazillion things to think of with all of this, of course. But really, if he could find a job there that pays relatively well, and if we could find a place to live, then what is stopping us?

I would miss my family. I would miss working with my mom, and walking with her. I would miss church and the friends I have made there. I would miss the familiarity of this area, the only area I’ve really ever known.

It is sort of terrifying to think about. We know people who know people in Nashville, and I myself know a tiny handful. But that’s it.

The place is all but unknown.

Yet, something about that is exciting to me.

My biggest concern, in all of this is to be where God wants us. To go where he leads.
And right now, I truly do not know where that is.

I’ve thought for a while that this place, where we live now, is where we are meant to be.

But maybe it’s not.

Maybe there is a reason my husband has never really made friends here, never really felt happy here, never really put down any roots here, never really connected to anyone at church.

Maybe God has been whispering to us in our discontent. In our aching to live in the country and in our inability to find a house that is affordable, accessible, and in a place even remotely country.

Part of me says that wanting to live in a different environment is a silly reason to move. “You want to live in the country but don’t? Uh, get over it. You live here; make the most of it. And stop complaining about needing trees, ya weirdo.”

The other part is like, “Well, if you want to live in the country so bad, then do it! There ARE other places to live, and people live there too. This is not the only place in the world. And there are other places that might fit you much better than this place. Just because you’ve always lived here doesn’t mean you always have to live here.”

Honestly, pretty much all that holds us here is our families and his job. And while that is nothing to scoff at, there is something so appealing to the idea of just leaving and starting over. Making a new life where the only people we really have to rely on (at least at the beginning) is each other and God.

It feels so wild. Uncertain. Unpredictable. Kind of crazy. And while there is fear associated with that, there is also a longing.

Two of my favorite, unrelated songs, use the same term: “The great unknown.”
It’s not the most original thought, but still.

The great unknown.

“You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown, where feet may fail.”

“If you never leave home, never let go, you’ll never make it to the great unknown.”

God is God in Ohio.
God is God in Tennessee.

And if he is calling us to go, I want to go.

2 comments:

  1. We always think that family is the most important thing and if we leave them, or don’t live as they wish us to, we are somehow bad sons and daughters who aren’t “honoring our fathers” as the Bible says we should.

    But if that’s true, how do we explain Abraham? Abraham was told to leave Ur – and everything familiar and familial – and move to a far-away land that God would “give” him. Talk about a leap of faith!

    Angie, I’m right there with ya’ll, praying for you and your hubby as you ponder which fork in the road to take. Whatever path you choose, God will be right there guiding and caring for you. I’m excited to see what He has planned for y’all!

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  2. Thank you so much! You are so sweet.
    I actually love the story of Abraham; such a great example. He didn't even know where he was going; he just left pretty much everything. So awesome.

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