More than watchmen wait for the morning

Every time I start getting to a place of freedom, of really getting it, it seems like Satan steps up his game.

Though I often fall to it, typically fall to it, am tempted to revert to me fighting for control, it is also encouraging.

If Satan wasn’t worried, he’d leave me alone.

If my marriage wasn’t a threat, it wouldn’t be so attacked.

If my husband wasn’t going to DESTROY the works of darkness, he wouldn’t be struggling so much spiritually.

Satan is furious about us.

He is terrified of us.

I don’t know why, exactly, but he is.

He knows something we don’t know, sees something we don’t yet see.

And it is not something he likes. At all. (jalkjfalkefjlK2JLK1Aalskjflkaewjf!!!!!)

From the very day we met, he set himself against us.

But God is for us.

God orchestrated us from before we were born.

He led us together.

And he, too, knows something we don’t know. He sees something we don’t yet see.

And he LOVES it.

God is FOR my husband. God is for his good, his purpose, his freedom, his abundant life. Everything I want for him, God wants infinitely more. And not only does he want it, he is actually able to do it.

“Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.”

My tears will not be wasted. The pain will not be left unredeemed.

I am sowing right now, in tears, in struggle, in heartache.

But I will reap.

I will reap.

With songs of joy.

Though at the moment, we are in a fire, we will come through it.

We will be refined. We will be purified.

Jesus will be able to see his face reflected in us.

You don’t even know how hopeless a lot of this looks. How irredeemable so much of it seems. My husband has been through awful things. Things I can’t imagine. Things I can’t relate to.

But with Jesus. there is full redemption.

He himself will do it.

And I will see it, if I will just wait on him.

“Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord;

O Lord, hear my voice.

Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.

If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins,

O Lord, who could stand?

But with you there is forgiveness;

therefore you are feared.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,

and in his word I put my hope.

My soul waits for the Lord

more than watchmen wait for the morning,

more than watchmen wait for the morning.

O Israel, put your hope in the Lord,

for with the Lord is unfailing love

and with him is full redemption.

He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins.”

– Psalm 130